Make Believe
by MyHeroRaven
Summary: "Let's pretend for one beautiful day... that everything's perfect and nothing is pain." Carlos is done living someone else's dream. And ready to live his. Cargan.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush.**

**Look... things are hard right now, and if I lose readers or people are upset with me about not updating Love Each Day then I'm sorry... and baby it's your loss. Because I'm hurt... not dead. And I'm not going anywhere. If you're going to be upset with me because I'm having issues then you weren't worth it to begin with. I love all of you that have stood by me, and been there for me. Thank you so much. **

**BTW... I've been working on LED. But things are still hard so I needed a stress reliever... and this helped. Hope you like it. **

**:Make Believe:**

Carlos was done... he had, had it with Hollywood and the fame and the fake smiles. He was done with the lying, the cheating, and the back stabbing. He was fucking done. It was all bullshit! And the worst part was... was that he never wanted any of it. Nothing good came out of being here... except one thing. But he was going to leave and take that with him.

He was currently sitting in his room, getting madder and madder. The lights were off and he just kept thinking of everything that had happened in the last two years. Everything he lost, the sacrifices he had to make when it wasn't even his fucking dream.

And what made him maddest? The fucking laughter coming from the living room, the false happiness was just proof of all they had lost and messed up. And he was done with it all.

Storming from the room and slamming the door so loud the walls shook he flew into the living room, breathing hard, dying inside. As the chaos reigned within.

"STOP! JUST _FUCKING _STOP! OKAY!"

"Carlos... man what's your problem?"

_James_. Goddamn _Fucking_ James.

"What's my problem?" a pained laugh tore through the boys throat exiting his lips. He couldn't believe the nerve of him... asking him what his problem was... when really it should have been written on his forhead in his own blood.

"My _problem_ is _you_ and all this!" Carlos gestured to the room around him, as if saying the once bright and exciting apartment was the cause of all the pain inside Carlos' heart. But it wasn't. It was much deeper then four walls, it went beyond anyone's true comprehension.

"What? What do you mean?" Kendall asked, looking confused. His green eyes were wary and his lips set in a tight frown. He should fucking frown... because this wasn't funny. In fact it never was to begin with.

"I _mean_ I'm sick of this _shit! _Sick of being here anymore! I'm just so angry... no... I'm not angry. I'm mad! I'm mad at you and James and Logan!" Logan looked shocked and upset. His brown eyes bore into Carlos' and for a moment he almost stopped... almost continued playing along with this little game... where they were all happy.

_Let's pretend for one beautiful day... that everything's perfect and nothing is pain._

The look he was getting from the smart kid was killing him. But he couldn't do this anymore... he couldn't _live_ like this. And honestly? Carlos couldn't see how any of them did it either. It was sickening and painful. So painful.

"Yeah that's right... look fucking surprised. You all should have seen this coming. Especially _you_." Carlos' eyes travelled to Logan's and he knew. He knew what this was about and he knew deep down that he wasn't really all that mad at Logan... He was mad at the situation he had put him in.

But Carlos was sure as hell mad at the other two.

"Come on buddy just explain why you're so upset." Kendall said, coaxingly, like talking to a small scared rabbit. Carlos was not a scared rabbit. He wasn't scared. He was just angry and done. Done with Hollywood, and done with this fucking shit.

"I'm upset because I don't want to be here anymore! I'm done! I don't want to be in this stupid down, in a stupid boy band, making your stupid dream come true!" Carlos' eyes met James'. He looked so surprised and taken aback. And behind those hazel eyes the walls came up, mean and ready to defend his dream... at any cost. Even if it meant losing Carlos as a brother forever.

"You should have known! You should have seen the pain I was in... still am in! And I'M JUST SO FUCKING MAD! I DON'T EVEN KNOW! I WANT TO-" With a loud almost battle roar Carlos picked up the coffe table and chucked it against the wall, the table thwacked! With pieces flying everywhere. Logan had to even duck to avoid being hit in the face.

"Jesus christ Carlos! What the fuck?" Kendall screamed teaming up with James and trying to get closer to Carlos to try and contain him. Carlos backed up more towards Logan and stood there, head down, panting.

_He was losing it_.

"This isn't my dream. It never was. I want to be back home with my Papi, training to be a cop. I want to _help_ people. I want to play hockey and go to a normal high school. I want to take the one person I love to Prom, and I want to graduate with my whole family in the crowd cheering me on. I want to be home and see my siblings grow up, and I'm not willing to give up on any of that. Not for a dream that isn't even mine."

The anger is gone from James' face and you can see that he's just so sad... it's killing him. He doesn't want to lose his dream... but he doesn't want to lose Carlos.

_But which is more important to the pretty boy... which path with he choose?_

And he's chosen...

"You're going to ruin everything! You're going to fuck up my dream man! I can't do this without you Carlos! Big Time Rush will be over and I'll be a nobody again! You can't do this! I won't let you!" And there's where the backstabbing and the lies come in... becasue two years ago? In Minnesota? James would have never treated a friend like that.

Carlos' nose flairs in rage... it may get violent. But Logan won't let it get that far.

"James you can't make decisions for other people. You can't stop Carlos... and if you don't calm down and stop acting like a complete jerk than you're going to lose more than your dream... you're going to lose your best friend." Logan's words echo through James' mind and you can see his face slowly calming.

_"Hi! I'm Carlos! What's your name?" _

_"James..." he's shy... never met someone so energized and bubbly before. _

_"Do you wanna be friends?"_

_"Really? You wanna be friends?" He is shocked... no one's liked him before. No one's even talked to him. _

_"No... I want to be BEST FRIENDS!" _

_They smile, one a broken boy another one lost coming together and finding a home. _

_A bond is formed._

The Bond Is Shattered.

"Fine... go. Who cares? We don't need you... I DON'T NEED YOU!" He's breathing hard, his strong chest rising up and down... up and down... up and down... up an-

"It's not about you needing me... it's about what I need. And I need to go home. I love you guys... but I can't handle all the lies anymore. I can't take one more day of playing make-believe. I can't."

"And James... when I leave do me a favor... look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you really like the person starring back. The answer may surprise you."

James looks heart broken and pissed. His eyes flashing between the two... not knowing which hurt more.

"I'm sorry but I'm leaving. Tonight."

The silence was heavy in the room, and you couldn't even call it an elephant because that fucker was bigger than any elephant Carlos had ever seen. It was infinite and took over everything, cracking the once strong, now fragile, bond of four brothers. It was over. Things were different, and they could never go back. It was the end. But for Logan there was hope.

"And I'm taking Logan with me." Kendall looked mad at that... and shook his head, blonde hair snapping around his head, whipping, violently.

"What makes you think he'll go?" It's a challenge. But it doesn't look like it... it's sneaky. Kendall and Logan had been together since the beginning and Kendall wouldn't let Logan go without a fight. And Kendall is cocky that Logan won't go... but he has no idea.

"Because I will." Logan's looking into Carlos' eyes. And he smiles. He's so happy... he can get out too...

"Logie... why?" Kendall's voice is small and unsure. He can't believe his best friend is going to walk away from him. Can't believe he's losing everything on what started out as such a beautiful day... laughing and joking with his favorite people in the whole damn world. _His brothers..._

Logan sighed... taking a deep, much needed, breath, before answering green eyes.

"Because I'm not letting my boyfriend leave me."

Carlos laced his fingers with Logan smiling lovingly at the beautiful boy that was _his_. That was the _only_ good thing to come out of being in Hollywood. _Love._

"This can't be happening." Kendall said sinking onto the couch with his head in his hands. He couldn't believe that he was losing two best friends in one day.

"We've been lying, hiding our relationship, hiding this love. And it's wrong, I don't want to be a liar anymore. I don't want to have to hide, and kiss in secret, and make love to him in the dark when I can't even see his beautiful face. Just because of image and a band... and a dream that isn't ours."

"And now you can be a doctor Logie... you can have your dream too."

Logan smiled, it was bright and blinding, and Carlos was so proud of the boy whose hand he held so tightly. He was _his._ And they were doing things _right_ this time.

"We're not stopping you guys from coming with us... but we're not going to let you stop us. If you want to come then be ready by 8 tonight. Because that's when we're leaving. And we're not coming back."

With that Carlos and Logan walked away to their room... hand in hand. And in that moment they knew... that no matter what choice their friends made... they made the right one. Leaving was right, even if they lost their friends. Leaving was the right decision and they were proud, and they were happy, and content within each other.

After all... it wasn't make-believe anymore. It was real life. _Their_ reality.

And the two boys were determined to make the best of it... one way or another.

**P.S. Proud supporter of Cargan. My favorite pairing.**

**MyHeroRaven**


End file.
